The Best Superpower Ever (Pt. 2)

DISCLAIMER: This is a completely extraneous entry that has nothing to do with anyone on Mumble. As a matter of fact, by the end of the entry, you might want the same superpower as me!

I hold a firm belief that everybody is a good person on the inside. Perhaps true altruism does not exist, but we connect with our peers by aiding them in everyday tasks and providing emotional support. A superhero is somebody who is lucky enough to have the ability to help many people at once. Being a superhero must be an extremely fulfilling job, especially when the general public doesn't know your true identity.



That being said, if I had the ability to mute and unmute people at will, I would be a supervillain.

Okay, I wouldn't be a Megamind type of supervillain (those people already exist, except they're not blue nor an alien). But think about how boring a superhero would be if his main shtick was muting people!

Sure, you'd be able to save everyone's ears from hearing the Westboro Baptist Church folks, but what else is there? Would you save hundreds of eardrums whenever the subway breaks are about to screech? Would you provide the gift of speech to children who were born mute? That's very sweet of you, but there would be no glory, no front-page headline for your superhuman good deeds.

But think of all the havok that you could wreak! You could mute important people during even more important speeches. You could silence congressmen when they're about to pull out a filibuster. You could make people think that there is something seriously wrong with their vocal chords! All of these tiny, mean-spirited acts would build up into a storm of chaos as people start questioning their ability to control their own speech!

To top it all off, being a supervillain means you'd get a really cool name, like Lex Luthor or the Penguin. Perhaps I'd be Silence or Hushgirl (didn't think this through, sorry). My point is, I'd love to be a supervillain in a world of superpeople, and I can't help but wonder whether or not I'd have an even more awesome archnemesis.